Jean Gonzales speaks before journalists about her experiences as a mother to a person with disability. File photo by MARIO IGNACIO IV
By DARLENE CAY
FOR persons with disabilities (PWDs) and their parents, 67-year-old Jean Gonzales is one mother whose dedication not only to her son but also other children with disabilities is unsurpassed.
Gonzales has without fail been helping families cope with disabilities for more than a decade through the Philippine Association of Citizens with Developmental and Learning Disabilities (PACDLD), an NGO she co-founded after successfully helping her own son Magiting, now 36, a man with autism.
Her story started in the late ‘70s, when she was a young wife taking care of her daughter and three sons. She and her husband Octavio noticed something different with Magiting, their second child.
Then 2, Magiting was fond of lining up his toy cars in a straight row. He was impatient and preferred to be left alone. Also, he did not always respond when his name was being called.
At a loss on how to deal with Magiting’s behavior, the couple brought their child to a pediatric neuro-psychologist who diagnosed him with autism, a developmental disorder characterized by communication difficulties, social impairments and repetitive behavior. It usually manifests within three years after a child’s birth.
It was the ‘80s, and there were hardly any resources on autism in the Philippines. Wanting to do everything they could to help Magiting, Gonzales brought the then 4-year-old Magiting to the United States in 1982 where they would become participants in a four-month autism research program at the New York University Langone Medical Center.
The couple had learned about the program through a relative who was a director of a hospital. “Looking back, I think I was the one who suffered from a trauma. It was the first time I left my family, the first time I went abroad. I had never been away. And I had to leave my three other children. But for (Magiting), and for the family, I had to bring him,” she said.
Magiting spent his time at the center’s therapeutic nursery where doctors, therapists and teachers helped him.
He progressed quickly. On their third month there, Magiting was made to use a computer. “They put him in a room. [He] would play educational games. If the matching is correct, he would be given M&Ms (chocolate candies). He would eat it, just like a reward,” Gonzales said. “He was doing very, very well.”
During their stay there, Gonzales talked to many experts and read a lot of journals and books about autism. “The most valuable thing they gave me was that they showed me what I could do for my son,” she said.
She also learned what made her son tick. She discovered how Magiting liked to memorize numbers in telephone books. She would teach him how to count money and eat and dress by himself.
Magiting Gonzales now works as a library assistant at the National Youth Commission. Photo by DARLENE CAY
Inspired by her experiences and armed with her knowledge, Gonzales felt she was ready to take things to a new level.
When she returned to the Philippines, she immediately looked for at least 10 mothers who were similarly situated. She put up a Philippine chapter of the then Autism Society of America. It was the start of her advocacy to help PWDS and, most especially, the mothers of children with disabilities (CWD).
“After all…the first people who will attend to them (CWD) are the mothers,” she said in Fipino.
Gonzales wanted to share what she can with these mothers and to give them support, “so they could have what I did not have.”
In 1998, Gonzales was elected council member of the National Anti-Poverty Commission Persons with Disabilities Sector where she learned who needed most the kind of help she offers: people in the grassroots. In 2002, she and her husband decided to put up the PACDLD to help parents of CWDs who cannot afford specialists.
“(M)others who are in the grassroots…really want to help their child. They just have to be taught what to do and how to do it. That is our mission and I think that is why we are here,” Gonzales said.
Gonzales said she never imagined she would lead an advocacy as she is doing now at PACDLD. A graduate of Foreign Service at the University of the Philippines in Diliman, she was very shy when she was young and did not volunteer on anything. Now people have had to stop her from talking, especially when she starts sharing stories about helping CWDs.
“I have no regrets. In fact, even with having Magiting,” she said.
Magiting graduated from high school in 1996 and completed his training in office and library assistance years later. He now works at the National Youth Commission as a library assistant. Magiting has also been winning silver and gold medals in international soccer and powerlifting sports events since he was 14.
As a mother to a person with autism, Gonzales’ is a never-ending job. For instance, when Magiting started working, she and her husband used to tail him to see if he could go to his workplace unaccompanied and to ensure that he is safe.
“Looking at our son, how far he has gone, our desire is to be able to let parents know that it can be done,” Gonzales said.
And, indeed, for more than a decade, she has helped mothers realize that there is hope.
Ana Lorania, mother to 18-year-old Carl who has cerebral palsy, is among the mothers whose lives Gonzales has touched. “I consider her as my second mother. She has always been there. She is very supportive. She never lets us lose hope,” Lorania said.